Title: Do Not Respond
Author: M R Field
Genre: Romantic Comedy, Contemporary
“Stick to the rules and you won’t have a problem working for this arrogant, sanctimonious cad.”
The Rules of DNR: How to Survive Working for Cole Lawson
Do Not Emails are meant to be sent to yourself only—never to be re-read or responded to.
Vent about your mean boss and don’t focus on the scruff on his chin. Ignore the butterflies that flutter as he stares back at you and concentrate on his condescending tone.
I wish I’d listened.
I wish I’d never drank my body weight in vodka and sent him a venting email, telling him exactly what I really thought about his Lycra-wrapped package and the way he makes my body hum.
The last thing I needed was to break those DNR rules and send an email to my boss.
Work is about to get a lot more interesting. What have I got myself into?
Excerpt . . .
“I know, right?” Odette’s voice fills my ears as our video chat is covered by a page showing a beautiful blue dress with white flowers.
“I can’t see your face, but this dress is so you,” I muse as I scan through the various angles of it. I move the mouse to the top of the page and hit the sale tab to scroll through the images. We chat for a few moments while I get lost in all the pretties.
“… package.” Odette’s voice lingers in my headphone.
“What?” My ears prick up. “What did you say about a package? Did you send me another cool T-shirt, like my ‘Vodka made me do it’ one?” Which is still not as cool as her ‘My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks’ T-shirt.
“It’s a special one.” Her voice lowers mischievously. I stop scrolling to wait for her to continue. To think she was just giving me shit. That little sod. Yet, a reason for her comment springs to my ears.
“No way! Are we talking about that package?” I jump a little in my seat from excitement, being careful to not tug on my earphones too much. “You finally banged your boss! Told you, you need to get him out of your system. What’s it’s been? Over a year? You needed to get laid, girl. Your mood was being felt from back here.”
“No, Letty, that’s not exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Well, who else did you bang? I didn’t think there were ample banging opportunities
over there, with you being so busy? You said soccer players spend too much money on hair gel.”
“Stop saying ‘bang’ when I’m talking about packages,” she scoffs, and I continue to bait
“Well, you’re being evasive.” I click the screen to minimise the webpage so I can see her face again and stare her into submission. “Have you ordered something online?”
Her body straightens while a huge smile forms across her lips.
“What did you do?” I move my face closer to the camera and threaten to put my nostril there, as I know she hates it. She grumbles in my ear and I chuckle, moving back.
“You might not want to ask about my packages.” Odette smiles, raising her eyebrow.
“Why? What are you hiding?” I squint at her, tapping my finger to my lips. “Did you order a mega dildo or something? Not like it’s new. You do remember Mum insisting on wanting to take us shopping that one time—”
“Jesus, stop talking!” Odette shrieks, and I throw my arms in the air in frustration before leaning back in the chair.
“What freaking package are you—” Movement to my side catches my eye, and I turn only to almost slam face first into the crotch of Cole, who is standing next to my chair decked out in his bike gear. Lycra. A second skin. I can see everything. That’s right, his marsupial is about to high five my nose. I felt it against my leg several times yesterday, but never touched it. But I want to. My fingers itch to touch it.
“Penis!” I blurt, freezing at my outburst as my mouth gapes. I look up at him, slapping a hand over my lips.
“Hi, Cole!” Odette screams in my ear, and I clench my eyes shut and growl as I pluck one of the headphones out and yell at her.
“He can’t hear you, you fucking idiot! Neither can I, now!”
“So, he can’t hear me say how red your face is, or how you just stared straight at his co—”
I growl and tear out the other headphone, turning to face her to give her a look that could kill a ghost. I pluck the cord from my laptop all together. “Yes, Odette.” I point my thumb over at him. “Cole is here, and you can chat to him.”
“Hi, Odette.” Cole’s voice tremors with laughter, and I look down at the screen to watch the two of us in the camera box. He rubs my shoulder. I look up at him, his smile beaming down at me. My face feels as if it’s on fire, so I excuse myself while they catch up and make up a reason to use the bathroom.
Giveaway . . .
About the Author . . .
M R Field has always held a love for writing, filling journals as a child which progressed to more eloquent pieces as an adult. After ten years of creative instruction, she decided to turn these ideas into manuscripts. She adores creating new story lines and is a big fan of a happily ever after, but believes strongly in making her characters work for it.
She has recently decided to join the independent publishing world with her debut novel, Fragments, which released late 2014, alongside its subsequent novel, Splinters that released in 2015. Fractures, her latest novel released on October, 25th 2016. Do Not Respond, a standalone comedy, is releasing June 2018.
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